“No one ever sets off on the path of marriage with the resolve to get divorced the next day.”
Inside every woman is a girl who wants the perfect life, perfect fit, perfect family. Yeah right!!! Guess what? It just doesn’t happen always for every girl or boy – big, small, sweet, kind, young, matured, or old. Sometimes, life could dish out the exact opposite of what one planned for. In other words, not everyone gets to have the “…and they both lived happily ever after” story.
Fairy tales rarely happen in real life, except you have a team that’s ready to help create that wonderful ‘dreams come to life’ reality. It’s like the popular saying, if wishes were horses, I would ride them. But then, what if you’re not the type who wants to ride a horse; even if you’re handed one?
Here’s the thing, you need to know that just like your most liked mug can get shattered if it suddenly slips from your hands or the hands of whoever was holding it at that time. So can a beautiful relationship slip loose because the person you were supposed to tango with just got an evil “äh ha” moment to let you slip off and go fox trot alone.
Fine, so you don’t know about the fox trot or tango. Not everyone knows anyway. The point is that a perfect Tina life could be the one whose hand is left to walk the lone road by herself. Fact is a life shattered has been the experience of those who got the exact opposite of what they signed up for in marriage. Those shattered lives are sometimes not easy to mend and may have long and devastating effects afterwards.
Irrespective of gender perspectives, divorce is still a very unpleasant issue to deal with in today’s clime in Nigeria. Divorce can sometimes be served when one least expects it. Like they say, things can happen. But what really matters is what happens after the divorce. Not whether society wants to face the reality of tackling the issues of divorce or not.
It is a topic quite a number of families in Nigeria regard as a no-go-area. Some would tell you outright, “you better die there than bring disgrace to the family name”… on and on and on. It’s like families do not want to talk about it. Religious groups all seem to be divided about it and if you come from a strict religious background, it just gets worse because all eyes will be on you. Like everyone just staring at you in the face, as if to say, “it’s your fault, go fix it now”.
Frankly, people do not want to talk about it openly in Nigeria. It might be considered near fatal ill luck to broach the subject of divorce. However, reality shows that it is increasingly becoming necessary to tackle the issue because divorce rates are gradually on the high rise in Nigeria, especially among young couples.
Since lives are involved and emotions get in the way, it should be a great concern to help people get back on their feet again, after the drama of going separate ways has waned off.
Of course, some may find it hard to move away from the hurts but it has never paid to live a life of regrets and go about untiringly sharing past tales of woes. No one really wants to hear it and those who do would be glad to help you stay tie down to those good for nothing memories. So, to move on, you must get over it. Give the matter realistic thoughts and make personal notes how to open a whole new chapter in life.
By Bridget Uko
