Recently, I engaged in a thought-provoking and lively conversation on a WhatsApp group, centered around the concept of discerning God’s will in the context of marriage. The discussion encompassed a range of viewpoints, including whether God directly chooses life partners for individuals, if His choices align with personal desires and criteria, why some marriages deemed divinely orchestrated turn tumultuous, the possibility of divorce in cases of discovered incompatibility post-marriage, and other pertinent matters related to marriage.
Within this discourse, one particular instance caught my attention – a woman expressing her frustration and bitterness towards her husband, and even towards God. Intrigued, I reached out to her and we engaged in a heart-to-heart conversation. It was evident that she found solace in finally unleashing her pent-up emotions. She shared the story of her supposedly “God-ordained” marriage that had turned into a source of profound unhappiness. She felt like she was struggling to stay afloat in a relationship that was meant to be a fulfillment of God’s plan. Adding to the irony, her husband was a clergyman, a role that conventionally embodies love and understanding guided by scripture. Yet, they appeared to be missing the mark, unlike couples who might not adhere to such religious guidelines.
This brings us to the core question: what does it truly mean to be within ‘God’s will’? It is widely accepted that God is benevolent and loves His followers, so does this imply that He forces them into marriages that breed discontentment? How do we ascertain that a particular individual is indeed ‘God’s will’ for us? Does alignment with ‘God’s will’ solely depend on whether our preferences are met, marking us as fortunate if they do and unfortunate if they don’t?
When it comes to young adults anticipating marriage, they inevitably have a set of values and dreams they seek in a partner. Compatibility in various aspects, ranging from spiritual and educational alignment to emotional rapport and family background, is often sought before making a choice. However, despite these clear criteria, many individuals often abandon their practical considerations in favor of a more nebulous concept of ‘God’s will.’
It’s essential to remember that your dreams, values, and aspirations should serve as the guiding principles in choosing a life partner. Certain warning signs in a relationship meant for marriage should prompt a careful evaluation rather than a commitment to fight through them post-marriage. God, as many believe, is not a source of confusion, nor a master intent on pushing His faithful into relationships filled with strife and turmoil. Wisdom dictates that a partner should be selected based on the assurance of mutual happiness and growth, all within a spiritual context.
Ultimately, the key lies in striking a balance between one’s personal values and aspirations and the belief in divine guidance. Whether you resonate with my perspective or hold a different viewpoint, I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
